Marriage |
Marriage is the legal joining together of a man and a woman, for life, to the exclusion of all others. Two types: Christian / religious marriage, and civil marriage.
Why marry?
To commit yourself to the person you love for a lifetime; to bring up children in a secure and loving home; to control and direct the sex instinct; friendship and companionship through life.
Procreation - having children
Union - a loving partnership of living together
Rearing children - providing nurture & security
Pattern for society - family unit of mutual support
One flesh - sexual intimacy
Sacred - blessed by God
Eternal - lifelong faithful relationship
Marriage is not popular as he used to be. The number of couples getting married for the first time has been falling steadily since the 1970s. Many people now choose simply to live together.
Many Christians believe that marriage is better because
The Roman Catholic Church holds that marriage is one of the 7 sacraments, i.e. a symbol of the bond God creates with people. In marriage, the love between a husband and wife shows something of the love of God.
RC priests must be celibate (not married) and chaste (sexually pure). This allows them to dedicate themselves to their work. In most other Churches the leader is allowed to marry.
The Church of England teaches that marriage is a gift from God – see the Introduction above. In marriage, 2 people (male and female) promise to be faithful for life, to love, comfort and honour each other, to stay together no matter what – good and bad, rich and poor, sickness and health. Marriage is also for sex, and to create children and a stable family. Vicars are allowed to marry.
Christians believe that marriage is very important because within marriage, people learn about and express love, forgiveness, tolerance, comforting each other, celebrating together, appreciating each other’s qualities, and thinking about the well-being of another person. They believe that through marriage, they learn more about God, because “God is love” (1 John 4).
Preparation. If a couple wants to marry in a Christian Church, they are often invited to discuss the meaning of Christian marriage with the priest or minister. They will discuss love and marriage, and make sure they understand what they will be promising to each other.
A Church of England wedding ceremony has 6 main elements
1. The Introduction
This explains Christian teaching about marriage: a gift of God, blessed by Christ, and a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the Church. Marriage should not be approached rashly, without thought, or to satisfy lust, but with respect, consideration and seriousness.
“ Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and enjoy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be born and nurtured in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory. Common Worship
He will ask if anyone knows of any lawful reason why the couple cannot be married.
‘ I know not of any lawful reasons why I [name] should not be joined with [name] in holy matrimony’
‘ Wilt thou have…….to be your lawful wedded husband / wife’
‘ 'I take [name] to be my lawful wedded husband/wife’
2. The Vows
I, …, take you,…, to be my wife [or husband].
to have and to hold from this day forward;
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish [and worship/obey],
till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and this is my solemn vow.
Church of England Marriage Service – The marriage Vows
3. The Rings symbolise:
4. The statement:
“Those whom God has joined together, let no one divide.”
5. Prayers, Blessings, Hymns and Bible Readings
These show this is a Christian marriage. They are not found in a civil wedding.
6. The signing of the register
The signing of the marriage register and receiving of the marriage certificate is a legal requirement, otherwise the marriage is not recognised in British law.
Marriage is important in the Bible, and should be taken seriously.
God intended men and women to join together for life as couples, and to produce children. In the Adam and Eve story, God made Eve as a partner for Adam. The Adam and Eve Creation Story teaches that marriage is a gift from God, and a part of God’s plan for human beings. God intended, right from the beginning, that men and women should join together for life as couples. The bond between a man and a woman produces new life when children are born, and in this way God’s creation continues.
Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman”, for she was taken out of a man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:21-24
Adultery is wrong and couples should be faithful for life. Christians believe it is very important for married people to remain faithful to each other. Adultery leads to a lack of trust, and shows disrespect for the holiness of marriage. It breaks the marriage vows.
“You shall not commit adultery.”
Exodus 20: 14 - 10 Commandments
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Jesus, Matthew 5:27-28
Marriage is for sex. Husbands and wives should look after the sexual needs of the other.
St. Paul said, “A man should fulfil his duty as her husband and a woman should fulfil her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
Jesus said that forgiveness is important in a marriage, too. In one story, he surprised a crowd with his attitude towards a woman who has been caught committing adultery.
‘ If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.
John 8: 3-11
Although Christians believe adultery is a very serious sin, they are to show love, compassion and forgiveness, and to think about whether their own behaviour is perfect before they criticise other people.